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February 10, 2010

Breaking The Rules: Handshake

What does it come to your mind when you give/receive a handshake? It is not certain, because it depends on the level of formality and the culture you live in. For example in Amsterdam when meeting someone by the first time, a simple handshake will do; while greeting your friends a kiss on the cheek (three times: left-right-left) is appropriate (/http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/city-guides/amsterdam-cultural-tips).
In China, handshakes are mostly used when doing business or in very formal contexts, but kissing each other's cheeks would definitely not be a good idea (Reference: Korean students).
My classmates and I were supossed to meet in a certain place and at a certain time, but due to health problems I could not assist to the meeting. However, I did my own research and 'experiments' trying to see how people reacted when I broke the rule of handshaking them for almost no reason. And it all happened in the University of Mississippi, with special attention to American people. Their reactions were diverse and the only way to know those reactions, at least partly, was by looking at their facial expressions. Some of the people were asked for directions and specific information about places: most of them did not have a particular or 'strange' reaction to my greeting after I had asked for the information. I believe that they guessed I was a foreigner and that I did not know that handshakes are used for more formal situations, specially if the handshake was with my left hand!
What happened when I went to talk with a person who is in charge of some administrative issues was that he was not so surprised by the handshake we gave each other when we finished talking, only a smile came out of his face. Other different reactions were found when greeting some friends and acquaintances. They laughed and were kind of surprised by the handshake.
In the United States of America people mostly greet each other with a 'hi, what's up' or 'how are you doing' in informal situations. The handshake is considered more formal and is mostly used when having formal meetings.
In my country, a kiss on the cheek is considered to ok when greeting someone. Most of the Latin-American people greet each other with a kiss on the cheek and there is no much surprise when doing it. I remember that once, I tried to greet a Japanese girl with a kiss on the cheek and her reaction was as if she had been being attacked. I almost got kicked of the group I was in. Hahaha. I had forgotten that rule, but i knew it, so it will never happen to me again, give it for sure. But what would a person who does not know those important 'culture tips'? It is difficult to know how to act and react in different contexts. If a woman does not like to be kissed on her cheek, what in the world could a French man to conquer her, if he cannot even greet her? Well, it is also applied to more formal and serious situations, when you want to do business with a person from another country you are required to know how to behave and give the correct greeting to them when saying hello or goodbye.
The interesting thing about this is that a greeting like this, or a kiss on the cheek, is one thing that makes a culture different from another. There are so many cultures around the world and so many different ways of greetings that it is not surprise that there may be some mistakes or misunderstanding when dealing with people of a different country.
According to the book 'A Cultural approach to Interpersonal communication' it is stated that: Cultures roll around the planet like so many billiard balls, self-contained objects that might collide or bounce off the cushion but still retain their perfect round shape'.

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